Saturday, February 16, 2013

Queer Quickie

When you get too attached to a person, you realize that you are making yourself vulnerable to him. He can either break you or make you. But I am a fool and I trust him so much not to hurt me.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Could this be love?

As said in my last update, I'm currently seeing someone. So where would I go from this?

Have you ever felt afraid of being in love? Have you ever felt doubtful of what is to come regarding with the affection you feel for your partner? That's what I'm experiencing right now. I can't shake off the feeling of putting all myself into the relationship. As if there's something that's been holding me back. I'm afraid of the possibility of me hurting him or him hurting me. I feel uncomfortable when I miss him so much it hurts. I can't shake off my curiosity if he has another guy back home since we're living so far away from each other. I'm just afraid.

Currently, I'm working on this intrapersonal issues of the relationship. I'm cultivating my trust in him. I just hope this is enough to make the relationship bloom.

Friday, February 1, 2013

More Time, Less Time

Before last year ended, I had the chance to read a book entitled, "The Timekeeper" by Mitch Albom. I can really relate to the story.

Have you ever felt that you had so much time that you want to cut it off in order to get to the point in time you've been waiting for? I'm currently experiencing this. The guy I'm dating hails from my hometown which is a bummer because I'm in Makati during the weekdays. I'm envious of those whose sweethearts are with them 24/7. I, on the other hand, has to endure 5 days separated from the one I love. I guess it can't be helped. He has his work there and I have mine here. During the weekdays, I always look forward to the day we'll meet that I can't help but wish that time would speed up a little faster to make my wait a little bit painless.

On the other hand, have you experienced wanting time to slow down for you to be able to make the most of what you are in? The exact opposite of the gist of the last paragraph? Yes, my lover and I only meet once a week as the other day of the weekend has been dedicated to our family and friends. Whenever we meet, I always wish that time would slow down. Time is like water threading through my fingers. I can never hold it and stop it from flowing out of my hands. However hard I wish, time flies by the second and it never slowed. I can't help but feel how little time I have with him.

Yes, that's one of the frustrations I have right now. It's either I have too much time to the point that I wish time would speed up or I have too little time to the point that I wish I have more time. It's like a never-ending battle in which time could never be beaten. I always lose.

But in the end, I guess a little distance is healthy for any relationship.