My "suitor" will be moving to a far away place as he was offered a nice job that is far better than the one he has now. It's still within the Philippines but to get there can take forever. ;(
I can't believe that the very first guy I've fallen for, and that's saying something considering I'm already 20, will now be out of my hands' reach. I can't believe that he's excited to leave his current work and start his new job. I can't believe he accepted the offer. I can't help but feel that God is taking him away from me. I can't believe that I'll be in a long-distance relationship even though we're not yet an "item". I can't believe that he's going to leave me without even asking the magic question to any relationship, "Can you be my boyfriend?" Lastly, I can't believe that I'm capable of being this selfish.
If only I could have gathered the courage to say, "I've been selfless as long as I can remember. Let me be selfish for this one time and please stay beside me until end comes." But no. As someone who loves him, I offered him an advice that is in line with his best interests, "You can do it. Go ahead and accept the offer. Maybe this is the job opportunity we've been praying for." And when I prayed for his career, I didn't expect that this means we get to be separated physically.
I guess I just love him so much that, as cliche as it may sound, I chose his happiness over mine. Come to think of it, his world doesn't revolve around me, reality bites. He still has his mother to support, a dream to achieve, and something to prove to the whole world.
I guess what I'm ranting about now is the status of our relationship. Can we withstand the distance of the relationship even though we're not yet boyfriends? What are we really? Are long distance relationships really almost impossible to maintain? How about the physical needs? What if he finds someone else there? How can I cater to his needs if I'm not beside him? Noooooo. Too many questions placed in the future that only one can answer as he arrives at that point.
I guess, all I can say for now is, "Let's burn the bridge when we get there."