Friday, June 7, 2013

I have a confession to make

I'm a virgin. Yes, I'm a 21-yr. old gay man and I'm a virgin. 

I'm a virgin not because I look ugly and I don't sexually arouse some members of the gay community. I've had my own share of indecent proposals (not that I'm proud of it) and a "straight" guy actually confessed that he's attracted to my nipples (he's my roommate and gaaaaaah he's a perv then). I'm a virgin because I chose to. I'm a virgin because, as old-fashioned as it may sound, I want to save this for that special someone who's ready to grow old with me. I'm a virgin because I treasure sex and sex without passion, intimacy and emotions is meaningless and pointless. I'm not the kind of person who would just have sex just to release the sexual tension pent up waiting to be unleashed and begging to be answered.

No, I'm not bashing those who are promiscuous. To each his own, I believe. Each and every one of us have reasons for the decisions made so don't tell me I'm being "maarte" for not grabbing the opportunity to get laid. 

So, why am I telling you this? Because here's my dilemma. I want to get laid. I'm sorry. I don't know why but I believe I have found the guy to whom I can offer the whole "ME". I believe that I have responsibilities that I have to attend to this guy and I believe one of these is to satisfy his sexual hunger, a primal need present since humanity existed. The problem is, I'm inexperienced. How could I satisfy his needs if I don't know how to satisfy it properly in the first place? It's a good thing he's not pressuring me to do it and he's willing to wait but I can't stay virgin forever while being in a relationship because sex is something serious couples should share as it is an act of domination and submission. Sex is an act of trust and love. 

I just realized how unavailable gay kama sutra books are. HAHAH! Out of desperation, I went to SM MOA and looked for sex guides for the gay man. Hahaha! Unfortunately, all the sex guides there are for straight couples. I know that sex positions are the same, hetero or homo. But, there are preparations to be done when you're a homosexual or when you're about to engage penetrative anal sex. You need to be safe. 

I also realized that the reason why HIV is widespread in the gay community is because of the lack of information available. Gays, who are experimenting (we all go through this) are out there without any guidance from a source that they can trust. The internet is there. The source is there. But we need information that are valid. Many information in the internet are unreliable and could actually affect negatively those who have taken it seriously. We need to be informed but we can only do it if we inform.

So, I'll inform those who are in the same situation as me with the facts I know from what I have learned from the experience of other people. I don't have to wait for me to get laid to teach those who are inexperienced what to do when they have to DO it. I can share them the experiences of other people, anonymously of course, and hope that they learn something from it as well.

In this line, please teach me as well. Teach me how to prepare. I'm lucky that I don't "have" to do it but I want to do it because I want to express my trust and love to my special someone in the right time. I don't have to do it right away but I will do it when the time comes and when that happens I want to be prepared.

Ciao! Let's have breakfast!

9 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Yes, ready ako. But I need guidance! Di ko alam kung pano magprepare. Yes, may idea ako pero may iba na nagsasabi na wag gawin ang ganito keso dapat gawin ay ganito.

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  3. confessions of a 21-year old queer virgin....u should have lost it at 16..lol

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  4. Haha! I'm happy I'm still a virgin and my bf gets to enjoy that.

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  5. "I'm a virgin not because I look ugly and I don't sexually arouse some members of the gay community."

    - You should've not included this. sounds judgmental and narrow minded. Sorry :)

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    1. Thanks but I do believe that physical looks play a large part in sexual arousal based from how a male is designed. :)

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  6. Hmmm...i like the values that you present for the first few paragraphs...and reading your post,,,and observing the way you consruct sentences... i'm not really sure if you are *e**? Am i ryt?

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  7. Ako rin...I'm afraid to have sex with men because takot ako baka may HIV sila...until now I'm virgin. Takot akong magexperiment. I don't want to put myself at risk.

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    1. Hi, anon! Thanks for dropping by. We’re on the same boat then. Planning to jump off the boat?

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