Thursday, August 8, 2013

Conversation with the Inner Childhood

Him: I don't know you.
Me: I don't know you either. But you seem familiar.
Him: What happened? What happened to you? Who are those guys? 
Me: I don't know. I guess I've gotten what I have wanted.
Him: Is that what you really wanted?
Me: Yes. I'm tired of being ignored. Now, I get the attention of those I'm attracted to.
Him. You're right. Their attention. But never their affection.
Me: What's the difference?
Him: Attention is short-lived. Affection is beautiful and long lasting. You became naive. You became stupid. I think that's what happened.
Me: How dare you? 
Him: I'm just telling you what I think. Look at you. Take a good look at you. That's not who you are.
Me: You don't know me.
Him: Yes. But we were one before. Remember that time when you were hoping for someone to love you for who you are? Someone who's serious. Someone who deserves the love you are capable of giving.
Me: And I have that.
Him: But you're hurting him right now. You're hurting him with what you are doing. Where's the love you can give? The love that he deserves. 
Me: ...
Him: There was also a time when your happiness is easily achieved. A simple book can make you smile. A simple get-together with friends becomes your safe haven.
Me: ... That was long ago. As needs change, so are reasons of happiness.
Him: And your lips that were reserved for the "one". 
Me: I need to kiss frogs.
Him: Why? 
Me: Because one of them could turn into a prince.
Him: Gosh! Are you that naive? You don't need to kiss frogs. The prince will come. He's actually with you already. To think that he haven't kissed you yet because of how he respects you and your ideals.
Me: I don't know. I don't know myself anymore.
Him: There's still a chance you know. You're already living your dreams. You're a few steps away from achieving further.
Me: ...
Him: FSOQ, it's time to change back. Change is a good thing. But in this case, you really have to change back. Value what you have now. 
Me: When will I change back? I miss you. I really really miss you. I don't want to be in this hellish pit I've dug.
Him: Let me get you out of there then. Slowly yet surely, make the change.

And this is a conversation with a person long forgotten. A conversation that took place yesterday. My birthday. :(


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Belated happy birthday FSOQ! :)

    This is a beautiful post. Self-realizations are the best kind of epiphany. I hope you can get back to the way you were. Good luck and be happy.

    1. I really hope so. I know. Parang ang emo. Pero di ko na talaga makimkim ung pakiramdam na hindi ko na talaga kilala sarili ko.

      Sa personal, ayoko pa naman ung nagiging emo ako. Naapektuhan tuloy pagsusulat ko. :|

      And thanks sa pagbati. Hihihi :)

    2. Okay lang yan. Hindi naman kelangan palaging masaya ang post. :)