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I'm not just a virgin sexually. I'm also a virgin when it comes to the whole culture of homosexuality. I've never been in gay pride marches. I've never been in those seedy spas. I've never tried cross-dressing. I've never watched gay pageants. The list could go on. I've always contented myself with the stories I read here in blogger and I am usually at awe with what I read. Sometimes, I wonder how come I never experienced those. Maybe because I don't have any gay friends since elementary. I only had one other gay classmate in high school and he's mad at me before and I have no idea why. There's this also one upper classman in high school who's also mad at me and spread nasty things about me and once again I have no idea why. Maybe this deserves another blog post.
Anyway, one of the stories I've read before is how gays communicate in public to show their interest in their "prospect". There's these hand signals to signal that you're a top or a bottom. When you catch the eye of your prospect and you're definitely sure he's interested, you have to scratch your forehead if you're a top, otherwise, scratch your chin. I don't know what to scratch if you're a versa though. I'm not sure if this is true. Another signal, to know whether or not a guy in the streets is interested in you, try to catch his eye. When you pass each other, try to look back at him after a few steps and check if he looks back. If he looks back, stop walking. Try to see if he'll walk towards you.
I've read countless of stories about the eye contact signal. I can't help but want to try it myself. They say that the easiest prospects are those you think who follow you on the streets. I've experienced this before in my neighborhood in Makati. I was followed before by a guy in boxer shorts and a sando. Gaaaah. I was really nervous. I assumed he was a holdaper so I put some speed into my pace. We went in circles until I got tired and gave up and went straight to my apartment. This has happened twice with the same guy and a few more times with other strangers. I always assumed that they were holdapers or thieves because I really thought I don't look that interesting. For the background story for this, click here.
One day, I finally decided, what the heck. Let's see if this eye contact signal is true and how far does this go.
Yesterday night, I went out of the office later than usual so I was in a hurry to get home and get ready for gym. It was not rush hour but there are more people than usual. My workplace is just near where I live so I usually walk towards home. I was reading blogs through my phone and I actually almost tripped because of it. When I got home, I hurriedly changed into my gym attire. The gym where I go is also of walking distance, it would take me about fifteen minutes to get there by foot. While I walked, I was reading some blogs through my phone so I was not that aware of my surroundings. When I realized I was about to trip again, I looked up and saw this tall dark guy looking at me while walking.
Quick thinking: Ah, subject acquired?
He walked past by me.
Okay, FSOQ. Look over your shoulder after a few steps.
I looked over my shoulder and caught him looking back at me. Oh my. I got nervous. I walked faster and I could feel my feet cold as ice out of nervousness. I might not be able to handle the situation I got myself into. I looked over my shoulder once again and I saw him following me.
Target definitely acquired but FSOQ, are you sure of what you are doing?
I looked over my shoulder from time to time and I could see him still following me. I got chills. I texted my partner to get some assurance everything will be okay. I slowed down my pace to see what will happen. I eventually stopped walking and stood for a while staring off space until he actually came in front of me and introduced himself.
"Hi, I'm [insert name here]." he said.
"Nagbubuhat ka?" he asked with not a hint of interest.
"Yep. Dito lang sa may area."
"Ah nagbubuhat din ako rati. Dun sa may... Kaso tinamad na rin ako," he told me.
"Ah, ganun po ba. Ayoko po dun. Mas malinis po roon sa pinagbubuhatan ko." I replied. I was about to wet my shorts by this time.
"Ang sarap mo naman," he said suddenly.
I blinked. I was caught by surprise. Was he talking to me? He looked at me from head to toe. I mustered all my strength not to pee all over my shorts and embarrass myself.
"O, bakit ka nganginginig dyn?"
Was I that obvious?
"Um, sorry first time ko po gawin ito," I said. Stupid move, FSOQ! You gave yourself away.
"You mean, virgin ka pa? Di ka pa sanay?" Whoa. Whoa.
"Gusto mo ba, punta ka sa place ko?"
"Baka may sakit ka." I said bluntly.
"Wala. Accountant ako. Every year may test kami." I never knew that accountants are immune to HIV/STDs.
"Ayoko. Gusto ko kwentuhan lang. Baka may sakit ka." I think I'm having HIV paranoia. This is getting unhealthy too.
"Nakakadalawa ka na ha. Ok. Edi sige kwentuhan lang. Dun tayo sa place ko. Mga 11pm. Para wala masyado tao sa compound."
I fell silent. Thinking. Brain, why are you not working? We were talking about random things for about five minutes.
"Sige, magbubuhat pa ako." I said suddenly.
"Ah, magbubuhat ka pa lang ba? Nakakahiya naman sayo. Naabala pa kita. Magdidinner palang ako. Ano number mo?"
I gave my number. I slowly walked away. I felt his arms around my shoulder and he said, "Magiging masarap kwentuhan natin."
My pace gained speed. I was almost running. What has gotten into me? Whoa. I was caught off guard. I was about to cry. I needed to pee. Cold water was flushed all over my body. Suddenly, I felt like I left my insides where we talked. I felt this sudden urge to puke.
But there was this rush. This adrenaline rush I couldn't explain.
I arrived at the gym still nervous. I caught a boy at the mirror looking at me.
The inner child. A disappointed look etched all over his face.
My phone vibrated. I realized I shouldn't have given my number.
"Pwede ka ba pumunta sa house now?"
The boy in the mirror looked at me. Worried.
"Sorry, I was just in heat." I told the boy. I prepared the equipment. I can feel the eyes of the boy drilling at me. I placed the weights on the bar resting on the squat rack. I looked at the mirror. Positioned myself. I lifted the bar on my back.
And the boy turned into the man I know very well and I watched him as we did our squats.