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I and my partner met yesterday night to attend mass in a church situated inside UPLB. It's his favorite church and he enjoys the mass wholeheartedly. I can hear him sing songs to his heart's content and answer the mass diligently and with passion. I was, on the other hand, quiet on the sidelines. My faith not aligned with his. But despite of the difference, I believe I can wait for everything to unravel in the right time regarding this area of our relationship.
The mass ended and we took our usual route towards the UPLB Library, the route less taken by people. The breeze was cold, a drizzle has just ended, and I caught myself shiver. He wrapped his right arm around my shoulder and provided the warmth I needed. His left fingers traveled towards my chest and slowly made its way towards my nipples. He pinched. He has this nipple fetish and he usually plays with my nipple every time we meet. Good thing I enjoy nipple plays but we do this usually with our clothes on hahaha! He pinched lightly at first until it became harder. He then removed his fingers when we were out in the open and planted his lips on my cheek. I blushed.
We walked around the campus after realizing that the library was too creepy at that late of the night. We walked around the oval.
"You need to walk," I told him.
"Haha. Lately nga parang pakiramdam ko ang bigat na dalhin ng katawan ko," he said and he flashed his unbelievably attractive smile.
"Di naman ako tumitingin sa appearances. I'm just worried about your health. You're getting old you know. You may look younger but..." I trailed off.
"Malapit na nga ako mag-thirty three."
"You need to be healthy. Especially at your age," I worried.
And our conversation turned to our experiences when we were younger. If aroma beads do multiply or reproduce. What games we used to play when we were kids. Holen. Sipa. Teks. Pogs.
"I'm planning to create a blog. But I'm not the only one who will contribute to it. I'll ask some friends of mine to contribute in it as well. If the blog will all be about me, it might get boring," he said.
"Tanda mo pa ba blog ko?" I asked him.
"Hmmmm. Queer... Queer?" he tried to remember.
"I'm not going to ask for your blog."
"I'm not prepared to read whatever you will write. There might be some things I'm not prepared of. What are you going to write by the way?"
"Experiences. Mine. My friends'. I forgot to tell you a story when I was in highschool."
"What story?" I asked. Curiosity piqued.
"There was this time when I was in high school, I went to Lucena for an activity in our parish youth. I got off from the bus and I noticed this guy who got off from the same bus. We happened to be in the same jeep as well and we seated beside the driver."
"Was the guy cute? How old was he?"
"He was in college. Anyway, I felt his hand slipped between us and his fingers resting on my thigh. In response, my hand slipped between us as well and we held hands."
"Ang sweet nyo naman." I said. A hint of jealousy.
"O, baka nagiisip ka nanaman ng kung ano."
"So, what did you talk about?"
"None. He did ask what school did I go too and I gladly returned the question. That was what we only talked about during the trip. The trip lasted for about fifteen minutes. I can still remember the subdivision where he dropped himself off."
"Wow, buti ka pa nakaexperience nyan. Ako waley na waley talaga." I told him.
"Well, those were during my days. These days, guys are more open. Less mysterious."
"Did you meet him after that?"
"No. That was the first and last time we met." he said.
"I wonder what happened to him. Does he have kids? He's at least thirty-five years old by now." I wondered.
"I don't know."
"Life does play you in an interesting manner right? You can't help but wonder what happened to the people who made a mark and disappeared out of your life. And little experiences such as that..." I said.
I looked at him. I looked at the guy with me. He's a catch. He's cute. He looks like Yael given the right hair style. He's not difficult to love.
Under the light of the lamp, I stopped. I looked at my back, two university students were there at the building behind us. There's a practice for a recital I believed.
He went closer.
"Sige nga, kiss mo ako," I dared him. "Let's see if you wouldn't care seeing us in public. Haha. Baka mamaya mapalagay pa tayo sa Overheard in UP Facebook page."
He smiled. He went closer. Our noses about to touch when I averted my face.
"Haha. May CCTV camera dun o. Baka mamaya ma-PDA pa tayo," he pointed towards the CCTV camera at the top of the lamp post.
We walked. I wrapped my arm over his waist as he placed his over my shoulders. Do I deserve this guy? This guy who has invested so much in the relationship? This guy who said will love me and care for me?
"I love you." I murmured.
"I love you too." He whispered. Our eyes looking at each other's.
I may have cheated before. That time when I thought I found a friend. He was devastated. He was disappointed. He was hurt. He cried.
But there he was. Beside me. Smiling. Despite of the distance, he makes it to a point to see me weekly. Despite of more than twelve hours travel time. Despite of the travel expenses. Despite of everything, there he was with me.
I might have hurt him yet he never got tired loving me.
"Pano kita di bibitawan kung ikaw na mismo ang bumibitaw sakin?" he said. Crying. Back when I told him what has happened.
But still, there we were, arms wrapped around each other.
I've read before, when handling a relationship, always deal with the relationship in a daily basis. Never look further than what you can see. Handling it on a daily basis, you'll be surprised how much you have been through.
Deal with the relationship at a time. I looked at his eyes.
The night bugs played their song and he planted a kiss on my cheek once again.
I can't help but see forever.