Disclaimer: This is not a movie review but SPOILERS AHEAD.
"Natakot ako, kasi nakita ko ikaw sa tatay ko." - Ginny
We originally planned to celebrate our Valentine's date yesterday in UPLB Feb Fair but after hearing a lot of positive reviews of Starting Over Again, I just had to ask partner to watch this before going to Elbi. Luckily, partner agreed as he was intrigued with all the hype the film was able to induce.
I know that the film was a story about break-up and second chances, something I was sure I will not be able to relate to. I was sure that I will be a bit bored and that I will probably look forward to the ending of the movie.
But life has its way of proving you wrong. Boy, was I able to identify myself in the movie.
We bought our tickets and went around the mall to kill time. We tried to look for a phone he might like as he was thinking of replacing his old phone. I checked the time every once in a while and I told him it's time to line ourselves for the movie.
When we had ourselves lined up, the line was really long. When I say long, I mean looooooong. The movie was hyped and it made me curious if the material will give justice to itself. We watched some youtube videos in my phone as we tried to kill some more time. He pinched a bit of my sides (ugh, he can't really hold himself back) and tried to touch my nipples in public.
"Hey, hayok ka nanaman," I said as I contemplated whether to stop him from pinching further.
"Eto naman, minsan lang."
"Anong minsan? Pano na ang dignidad ng mga alaga ko?" I asked jokingly.
The line suddenly went moving and a few minutes later we found ourselves seating on the center aisle/stairs as we don't want ourselves to be seated at the lowest seats at the movie theater.
The movie started and, by routine, my fingers slowly traced his arms until his intertwined mine. The lights went off, our hands perfectly hidden, as the credits rolled.
"Wow, the movie was great! It veered off from the path Filipino romantic films usually take. Not that ground breaking but it was great!" I said.
"Yup, ang ganda nga nung movie. 70% ng film e umiiyak si Toni."
"Hey, may charm ang pagiyak ni Toni. Aminin."
We filed outside the theater and we went to have our dinner. We both ordered Korean food from the mall's foodcourt. Our order came and we dived in. The film left us hungry as we were really taken by its plot.
"May sasabihin ako sayo," he said suddenly. He put down his spoon and fork and looked at the roof.
He laughed as he tried to search for the right words.
"Ano nga yun?" I prodded.
"Nakita ko ikaw sa character ni Toni. Goal oriented. Planner. Achiever kumbaga."
"Applicable ba yun sakin?"
"Pero kita ko naman sayo yun. Na kapag may goal ka ginagawan mo ng paraan. You excel. I, on the other hand, saw myself in Piolo's character. Complacent. Settler."
I knew where he was going.
Because the same thoughts were running through my head while watching the movie.
You see, Ginny (Tony's character) left Marco (Piolo's character) as she saw Marco in his father. Someone who easily gives up in the presence of failure. Some one who is laid back. Someone who settles for what he has even though bigger opportunities are available.
Someone Ginny is afraid of. As these are the qualities that left their family broken.
Because for Ginny, a man should be decisive. Should be running after his dreams. Someone who achieves. Someone who will not burden her down.
"Tapos pareho pa kaming older than you and Ginny. Pareho kaming frustrated chef," he continued.
"Honestly, yes. I saw us in the two as well."
He laughed as he looked at the roof. His food begging to be finished.
"Kinabahan ako bunso."
He fell silent. If only we were not in public, I would have kissed his lips and erased his fears and doubts away.
"Don't worry. I'm also at fault as well. I have my own shortcomings. There. Relax. SmileI will always put Iza/Pattie's line in heart. ," I said soothingly.
For what it's worth, you have done a great job, I told him silently. My words not escaping my mouth. I was never more aware of the people around us. Having their own date of themselves. Eating. Being merry.
More importantly, I was never more aware of the fears and doubts partner has. A vulnerable part of him slowly and briefly manifested and I witnessed it.
"Kung tutuusin nga ang talo dun si Toni," I said.
Don't worry. Ours will have a different ending.
Our spoons and forks were lifted. We ate as I hoped he was reassured of the words I've said and of the love I give.
“My love is bigger than your failures.” – Patty