Sunday, May 25, 2014

Clouds of doubts over the horizons

"Ano gusto mo mangyari satin?" I asked him. The cold night breeze hit our faces and I heard a bit of the lake's waves ripple.

He hung in silence. I lost faith.

Petty reasons maybe but there's only so much I could handle. You see, all the little things can pile up until I cannot bear all of them at all. One by one, they each came tumbling down, drowning me into misery and yet all I could do was hold his hand tightly and believe that everything will be all right. That everything will progress. That our relationship would bloom and make sense.

But as each little thing tumbled, I stumbled and I got fed up.

Yet I will still hold on. But please, partner, please make me feel that as I hold on, you're keeping me from falling further away from you. That I'm for keeps.

Because no matter how much I do, no matter how much I believe that nothing could make me unlove you...

if nothing's going to change, if nothing's going to progress...

then my heart could only bear as many and eventually will burn out.

Suddenly, forever seems to be next to impossibility.


***** 

So many drafts unpublished. I'm left staring at them blankly on screen.

10 comments:

  1. "Yet I will still hold on. But please, partner, please make me feel that as I hold on, you're keeping me from falling further away from you. That I'm for keeps."

    it's only when the two of you progress together that a relationship can work

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    1. I feel stuck Jjampong. I feel like the relationship will never progress. He seems to have settled and became complacent. Idk if I should ask nor demand but I was left doing nothing. :(

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    2. If he's the kind of guy who's open to discussion, then it wouldn't hurt to ask. Ask is far from demanding.
      One shouldn't simply "ask" for one's own benefit, but perhaps to instill promising thoughts to the other.

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    3. I've asked before but he only laughed off my concerns that's why I couldn't ask anymore. It felt like my questions were considered rhetoric by him. He laughed, made a joke out of it, and nothing changed.

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  2. Many things have been said about love but none can master its doing. You're both on your own this time.

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    Replies
    1. Both on our own? Why? I don't get it. :'(

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    2. Sorry for being too cryptic. What I meant is that when a couple is facing a "gray phase" in a relationship, that's the moment when, as a couple, you will have to make a crucial decision on your own. Friends and family can come to help and give advice but it's up to the two of you to make the final decision.

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  3. We've been through that stage before.. What we did was make each other feel super special again by going on planned super dates. (Dinner + everything that happens after)

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    Replies
    1. So what does happen after? Hehe.

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    2. Depends sa trip niyo :) Haha usually we just watch movies and everything else just starts falling into place

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