Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Hurt yet numb

Even with all the words I would like to scream and let out and with all the words I would like to put on paper, the pain still holds me back into silence, darkness, and confusion. As much as I would like to update this blog, continue the series of not so fortunate (or maybe fortunate) events that supposedly continues the previous blog post, revisiting the past causes so much pain and disappointment to the point that I lay down in defeat helpless to write anything.

And the funny thing is, with all these pain, I feel numb. Yes, numb. I feel empty. I feel pain yet at the same time I feel empty. At first, I was confused. How could someone feel hurt yet numb? Today I got my answer.

Because today I realized that my love left me, keeping with him all my feelings and emotions invested. My whole future supposedly with him snatched away leaving me shattered into pieces.

As these shattered pieces lay untouched, as I feel the pain and at the same time emptiness, I am slowly losing my values and beliefs. As much as I like to hide it, I could do nothing but admit defeat and embrace change. Embrace the fact that there is no such thing as forever because everything has an ending. Everything has a period. Embrace the fact that man is inclined towards self preservation. Embrace the fact that there are some love not strong enough to defeat this inclination. That there are just some love that may end.

Love stinks.
posted from Bloggeroid

6 comments:

  1. Love will perpetually stink if we stop believing. Embrace the pain, suffer the hurt, and die if you must. In time, like the phoenix that perished in its own fire, you will rise again.

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  2. Listen to this, FSOQ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsrICJqWQ1E
    I'm currently going through some shit as well, and that is my go-to song whenever I feel down. :)

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  3. I know the feeling pero alam mo hihintayin ko ang oras na magpopost ka ng masaya dahil alam ko by that time ang mga alaala na yan ay tatawanan mo na lang ☺

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  4. i can only imagine your pain. i went through that for more than a year

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