Saturday, September 5, 2015

A guide on how to stay in the friendzone

1. Don't let him touch you on your intimate body parts.
2. Don't reply ASAP on his texts or private messages.
3. Don't let him know that you're excited to see him.
4. If not single, always let your partner know your whereabouts especially when you're with him.
5. Let him know when he's crossing the line.
6. Do not entertain thoughts of having a relationship with him.
7. Always keep in mind that things are already great the way they are.
8. And that having him more than a friend will complicate things.
9. Remind yourself that you've been friends with him for a long time and this lowers down the probability of having an intimate relationship with him.
10. Remind yourself that your partner knows him and vice-versa.
11. When he says, "Don't talk to me about your problems with your partner because I've been thinking about it and I decided that I want to date you. Date date you," obey not because he wants to date you but because you don't want him to know when you're vulnerable.
12. Don't hold hands with him (refer to item number 1).
13. Don't go to an overnight swimming of an organization you're both a member of especially when he's attending.
14. Don't have breakfast, lunch, nor dinner with him.
15. Make your conversations uninteresting.
16. When he asks for help regarding with his literary pieces he wants to pass to different applications, politely decline.
17. If you're not single, keep yourself busy with your partner. He's the only love of your life.
18. Do not entertain distractions.
19. Create a list of why you love your partner (if you have one).
20. Create a list of 20 items on how to stay in the friendzone.

*** if all else fails ***

Get out of the friendzone. End the friendship. Even though it hurts. 

Keeping this list in mind.